i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
