I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize
