My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
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