no, he came in my armpit
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Randomize