I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
it was like having sex with a tree stump
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Randomize
