Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Randomize
