all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
