you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Randomize