so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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