he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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