You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Randomize
