Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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