There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
I am midnight drunk by noon
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
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