I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
