why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
