I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
You need a sexual gate keeper
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Randomize
