I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
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