Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
