You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
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