Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
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