dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
