Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Randomize
