did you get engaged???
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
