So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
