Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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