i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize
