She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
PANTIES FOUND
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