Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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