I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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