I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Randomize
