I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
