He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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