dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
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