dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
