It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
Randomize