So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
