so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
