I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
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He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
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Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
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