So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Randomize
