Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
Randomize
