You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
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