shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
