Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
