Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I met the friendliest cop last night
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Randomize
