i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
