you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
