she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
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