Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
Girls should come with a carfax report
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
