apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
I wish they made helmets for livers.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
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