I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
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