It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
