Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
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