How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
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