everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
