I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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