I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
