I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
