Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
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