To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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