East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss