I'm gonna have a badass scar
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
25 People Confess The Biggest Betrayal They Have Ever Faced
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
25 Odd Things These Pathetic People Do For Enjoyment
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral