this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL