Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Can you bring me the toilet please
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts