That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.