I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Randomize
