love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Randomize
