Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
