White coat. Heels.
I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize