actually, I'm a sock model
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Randomize
