I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
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