Buhtt sex?
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
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